HFHLet me reiterate…  I am a USMNT and Galaxy supporter.  As such I have very easily identified enemies in life, the Mexican National Team and Chivas USA, both of which can be further identified by the smell of chicken feed and the wearing of ponchos.

So with those factors in mind I have this to say to all my fellow supporters, “This one is on me.”

It’s my fault for not seeing it earlier.  Mexico is my sworn enemy in terms of soccer.  I should have been more vigilant… I let my love of your fine food and sexy talk show hosts cloud my vision of your far more dastardly plot.  You, Mexico, are a wily foe.

Looking back it all started 2004 when we foolishly opened our doors to your club team CD Chivas and allowed them to chivasspawn within our borders.  We laughed with sardonic joy as your team faltered both on the field and at the gates.  You allowed us a false sense of security with your crowds of 15 people in bolos and ranchero hats.  We had nothing to fear.  Or so we thought.

Mexico has quite simply infiltrated us to the highest levels.  They recruited a folically challenged American coach into their ranks, brain washed him and sent him on up the ladder.  They then managed to get two American players onto our national team, one armed with a detestable porn mustache not fit for Ron Jeremy to issue rides upon, the other masked with a Jewish name that put us all at ease.

Yesterday’s game against the Netherlands is just the latest evidence of this.  Jonathon Bornstein single handedly lost this game for the US.  The guy got continually torched on his side of the defense, gives up a stupid penalty, almost gets called for a second and what does fellow Chiva-ite Bob Bradley do?  He moves him to central defence.  What kind of south of the border logic is this?

In it’s simplest form Bornstein and Kljestan represent the largest crutches of Bob Bradley’s pool.  His loyalties to them are now eclipsing his objectivity.  At this point you would expect an assisant coach to step in and give the guy a nudge in the right direction.  Oh wait, who are the assistant coaches?  Mike Sorber (former Mexican club player) and Jesse Marsch (former Chivas USA player).  Is there no escape from this paradigm?

Now, 6 years later their plan is almost complete.  Bob Bradley, Sacha Kljestan and Jonathon Bornstein have been infected.  They are suffering from a disease called Chivarrhea.  And if we don’t act now our entire national team could soon fall prey.  Who will stand beside me in this race against time?

Random Thoughts:

- If I were the MLS players I would totally keep playing possum in terms of the strike.  Look at what they have as a bargaining chip?  Nothing.  But I think I may have found a way for them to gain one.  Keep playing lads.  Keep playing all the way to till half way through the season.  Then one week before the All-Star game, which will likely feature a big name team coming here for big time dollars, walk your asses out onto the street.  The All Star game is not merely a game, it represents business relations between huge corporations that own these teams.  You think Manchster United’s Glazers don’t potentially have non-soccer business ties with LA Galaxy owners AEG?  So bide your time boys, hit them where it hurts.

- If you haven’t read my interview with the makers of the Pelada documentary over on our sister site 10Shirt.net, get yourselves over there and do so.

- Over/Under on how many minutes into his first 2010 appearance with the Galaxy that Dema Kovalenko fouls someone.  I say 14 minutes.  Over or Under?

- Was bummed to see Julian Valentine go to Tampa Bay.  Never thought the kid really got a shot with LA.

- #1 team that needed to make a big move this offseason and hasn’t?  New England Revolution.  This is a team that just lost Steve Ralston, could conceivably be without Taylor Twellman, and is banking far too much on Shalrie Joseph.  Where are the goals going to come from this year?  I love me some Steve Nicol but the dude needs to pull the trigger on something soon if they want to be relevant this year.

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About Jrodius

I am a 32 year old dude living in So. Cal. I still refuse to wear white cleats on principle and hate any food with cheese. I am also a season ticket holder to the LA Galaxy. You can follow my genius on Twitter as well as my own blog Going Guerilla

  • Screwshitvas
    Well written piece Bro but you are forgetting that they are the racist ones trying to turn Latinos against whitey thinking all Latinos are same as mexicans
  • I don't think to many people can argue that ANY one else HATES! Sh*tvas as much as I do. To prove it, how many people have a custom tee shirt they proudly wear at Sh*tvas matchs depicting my HATE for Sh*tvas?
  • Hector,

    I don't know what you're talking about I love WOPS. Italian's make great food and play great defense.

    To address your comment in all honestly, though, both of those traits are based on my true life experiences at Chivas USA games. Are you telling me you won't see a fan in a poncho? And I personally have stood behind a fan in the concession line that smelled like chicken feed. So while, in rereading it, I can see your point, I want you to know that that sentence was based on fact.

    With that said, it doesn't hurt that both traits are also funny to me. And in case you haven't noticed I thrive on an air of satirical unprofessionalism and conjecture.

    I encourage you to go back and read the first installment of HFH where I lay the ground rules for what I write here. No one is exempt from being pointed at and laughed at.
  • Chuey
    Odelay!!
  • Hector
    "chicken feed and the wearing of ponchos" -Galaxy fans have earned their reputation as racists, I was a Galaxy fan until they began to purge their fan base of non-WASPs. The Galaxy fans of color are those who want, more than anything, to be accepted by people like this, sad. This article makes me want to cheer for Chivas USA.
  • I full declare my love for Mexican food in the piece. But yes, I do realize I am a man at a crossroads...
  • FCShambles
    You can only call Mexico your sworn enemy if you boycott your beloved B-rated taco shack. Then, your zeal will be evident!
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